This prayer is gonne be raw honest and full of complaints. As tired as I am Lord. Once again i am left with the longer length of the rope. All the burden is on me. Women generally push away the man and the man welcomes her advances he said. The context was in physical intimacy. I know I know what You are saying, You never meant for this to hurt me this much. But look at his mindset. Shows that I had lost before it begun. I went on even though he didnt want a relationship. I said I wanted more but never specified what it was, it was a messy mix of everything. I just wanted nice hugs but he misunderstood me. But You are a God of clarity, save me. Clang! I heard the sound of something fall. It terrified me. It felt like someone is angry with me. So hurt so broken. I have no clue how You plan on healing me. That is Your burden to carry great. Another thing I have no clue about. I have to live with life now. Knowing I have no control and simply doing Your will. Direction shown by You, anger taken by You. What for am I here? To get thrown around by people? To hear them say all kinds of stuff to me? I had noone Lord. Neither my mother nor my father. I was all alone. I have had enough of praising You. I have some anger to let go of. My friend and I had a falling out. He was as busy as ever. And said such rude things to me. He said I am hurting myself and he is gonna go coz it is hurting him too. Great. Abandon me. Avni never reached out very often. I am tired of people doing this to me. My phone has less charge, I hope I can type it out soon enough. Even my charger is trying to hurt me with electric stings. How tired I am of this world lord. At this point I am just alive. Somehow. so numb. So tired. I feel like throwing my phone out. I dont want to be scared of men lord. I dont want to puke when i see them or panic if they walk too close. I want freedom. Amen.