I can see how I’m falling into a victim mentality. I know I need to be the one who changes the relationship. She won’t, for one. Two, it’s my responsibility to make my own decisions. AND it’s so hard to let go of what your heart desperately craves. I do need to practice distance while she’s on her leave. I have actually been doing pretty good with distractions and keeping myself busy. Plus, still no breakdowns. Not even crying. I wonder if I’m numb or have I just been prepared enough that I actually was ready for this? I’m not saying I don’t hurt or miss her. Just that it’s not affecting my daily life.