I want to self destruct, I don't want therapy, meds, I want to cry, sh, do legal drugs that are illegal in this building, sit in a hot shower, I need to get out of here, I don't feel safe here, too many people and the building isn't full yet, I want to rest not feel my body freezing all the time over every noise, everything is too ****en loud, I can't get my body or head to relax, I don't even know what I'm thinking, I'd do anything to get away from this feeling. I can't do this. I tried distracting it doesn't get rid of the body feeling. I daydream about hurting myself but nothing is wrong.