Thanks for the hugs, Lost.

Last night was hard. I was finishing up my weekly update email and was on the processing the week part. And that triggered so many feelings. H heard me crying and came out to watch a show with me and then cuddled with me afterwards.

Maybe it’s not a healthy thing to not be crying. Maybe the healthy thing is to cry to let emotions out like you said. But damn, last night’s cry was painful.

I truly don’t know how T can support me. Like I truly don’t want anything to do with her. I don’t want to reach out about last night’s pain or anything else going on.

I would hope T checks her texts more frequently right now, but I just don’t trust her. L said she told T she was going to text her when the baby is born, but when I brought it up with T, she said she didn’t know that.

Right now, I’d rather see pdoc than T, so that’s saying a lot since pdoc has anxiety about everything about me.