Ugghhhhhhhhhhh.... I should NOT speak out in larger meetings at work! I spoke up yesterday and I think I killed the vibe of the meeting. It was a weird meeting to begin with and seemed disorganized. After I spoke up, what I said got shot down and then the meeting ended rather quickly after that. I don't understand this company and how it operates.

I am struggling to like myself, let alone love myself. I was embarrassed by what happened in this meeting and felt that I just should not speak up at all. But then when they're talking about my area of expertise, I feel like I have to speak up but then when I do, I become tongue tied and I feel like I end up saying the wrong things or in the wrong way and then am misunderstood.

My communication skills really falter with online Zoom meetings. I hate them. I am better in person, but also, I am not good at winging it in these meetings.

WTF? I have known myself to have strong communication skills. But right. now, I feel my skills fall short and are weak - at least within this company.

I am feeling low.