I read somewhere that a person should only put as much effort into helping someone as they are willing to do for themselves.

Let's say your spouse breaks her leg. She goes to the hospital, gets a cast, takes painkillers when needed, rests and recuperates, follows up with the doctor, has the cast removed, and exercises to rebuild muscle in the weakened leg. You'd help and support her through all of that, right?

Now, let's say your spouse breaks her leg. She decides not to go to the hospital, refuses to rest, screams in pain constantly, develops complications and bleeding, lashes out at everyone around her because of the pain, and chooses to live the remainder of her life as an angry, agonized cripple?

Do you support that? Do you love and cherish her for it?

Another common promise in wedding vows is to "love, honor and respect" your spouse. If her life choices in every way violate those promises, doesn't that mean she's broken her vows and invalidated the contract of marriage?