I don't do well in a medical setting of any kind, but I start with a new Dr. today and I am already a nervous wreck.

I'm not afraid of any pain or anything like that, actually I'm the opposite. I always seem to have a "go ahead and hurt me I'll show you how tough I am" attitude.

It's the "lay back on the table etc" remarks that start the blood pumping. Of course my head "knows" it all stems from the abuse but my body has not caught up yet and I usually am either frozen or I have a meltdown.

Now I know some of you will think "well, Orange_Blossom, just tell your Dr. you are a child abuse survivor." But how can I admit that to some stranger when it's hard enough to admit it to myself.

I downloaded all the forms I have to fill out and the first thing they want is a family history and what their health issues are. It looked like this.



I look at the list and can't help but think I'm next.