I see where you're coming from, but I'll let you in on a little secret: you can always be useful to someone.
This post that
you created is probably useful for dozens, hundreds, maybe more people.
I don't know what exactly you do on a daily basis, but your existence does have an impact on the world at large. Maybe you buy from a family business a few times and that is part of an effort that keeps them from going under, maybe walking down the street you hold the door open for a person who's having the most rotten day and that's the only thing they have to be grateful for that morning, maybe during your days of getting treatment, providers have learned something from your unique case or have thought of something in a different way because of you, maybe you've been in a group at some point and said something you thought was just a regular ole' statement but someone thought it was really profound, and maybe that'll happen again the next time you open your mouth.
There are plenty of people here, myself included, that read your posts and are awe-struck by your perseverance. Things have really sucked for you. I'm not going to sugar coat that. But you're still here, kicking it with the rest of us, typing up these posts, being a part of these discussions. And that is absolutely savage