Thank you, @MuddyBoots - you're very kind and I appreciate that.

Yeah, I have had a hard time but, somehow I still hold on.

It's from some kind of hope that I cannot explain. I have no idea where it came from and why it stays. It has been with me for all of my life.

Sometimes I wish I could let it go, because it persists even when everything else fails, again, and again, and again.

Thank you showing me a way to reframe my thoughts, it's very helpful.