hello gordon:
may i just say bless you for trying to work thru all this. i may as well be your wife for all i have done against my husband. but luckily htere are really still some great guys out there or women like us would have self-destructed in a blazing fireball by this point.. i have also been dx with PMDD(pre-menstral dysphoric disorder) as well as BPI so just know that there are other men that feel your pain.

i had struggled with something all my life not knowing what and didnt get to my first pdoc till i was 30. of coourse looking back on it, i can see the cycles of mania and depression and the stupid things i did at either side of them and ironicly MOST of the mania cycles (out of my head) were within the 2 weeks before my period. the one time i actually left my husband after numerous affairs was 7 days before my period.

i dont know if this will help but start paying attention to her cycles vs. her menses and keep record of when they are happening. i have to take an alternate med for the 2 weeks prior to mine. it may be something to talk to her dr. about

i feel for you and wish i could tell you it is all gonna be alright. i'm not even sure that my situation is going to be alright. my only thoughts on it are this....cant worry bout yesterday it already happened .trying to live for this minute cause tommorrow is coming whether we like it or not.

i have other problems affecting my relationship though. my husband is an alcoholic and forgets i am there sometimes. so my affairs arent "long term" i am looking for satisfaction and affection in the moment. looking back on them i feel guilty because i know that my husband would provide me what i need should i just ask but arghhhhhhhhhhh.... sorry riding the edge of a trigger.

aside from all that just be paitent and try to love her. and ultimately if you gotta go you gotta go. you can only do so much then she is responsible for pulling her weight as well. my disease is not a curse i tend to look on it as a gift. but i am responsible for myself and my treatment because nobody else is looking out for me like i will. besides i have 2 daughters that i have to be somewhat sane for.

good luck!