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qwerty68 · 04:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Calla lily12

I wanted to try Ketamine but the doctors at the clinic (,within a private psych hospital) refused because I dissociate. I thought that was the desired
effect anyway?? When you say " it went bad",, what do you mean? Is it possible to not come out of the dissociative state? I've been on many psych meds and it would be wonderful to get off them.

The disassociation with ketamine is actually desired. It is an integral part of the session. I have had some disassociation when my MH issues are bad, but nothing like this.

"Went bad" to me means that I went to a very dark place where I didn't feel very safe. The few times it has happened I was able to press the panic button without being conscious of doing so.

I don't think it is possible not to come out of that state. The best part of ketamine infusions is that once they turn it off, you slowly come out of it. When they shut it off after hitting the panic button, I think it takes 2-3 minutes to start feeling more normal. They have always turned it back on after I got a hold of myself but at a lower dosage. I have had somewhere between 20-25 sessions, and three "went bad".

They will not allow people with active psychosis to have a treatment. That is one of the few show stoppers.

It takes a bit longer when they turn it off at the end. I am not sure if they are turning it completely off or they slowly reduce the dosage. I keep forgetting to ask.

The first time was at 0.95mg per kg, which was a slightly larger step-up than I normally did, and was still getting used to it.

The second was that I had a lot of things on my mind which sent my brain into dark places.

The third was at 1.9mg per kg. After that, I have stayed at 1.8 and it has been very strong, but also mostly good. I never have had any issues. They think I have found my sweet spot.

It is interesting because every time below 1.8 when I did the same dose two weeks in a row, the second was not very strong, but it is at 1.8.

Going to dark places is not necessarily bad. I do that a lot, and as long as my thoughts aren't dark it is a really nice place. I usually have portions of a session where it seems like there are spotlights in the room, it is that bright.

During a session, I go from room to room, zone to zone, or realm to realm whichever makes more sense to you. The deeper I go, the stranger the zone feels. I wish it were possible to record what I see and hear. It would be interesting to watch a few days later.