LMo, you are awesome.......ty for the compliment

I only try things that I know I can succeed at.......if I fail, I feel worthless and it is all my fault, because I am "defective", and then I really jump all over myself and tell myself what a loser I am. It goes back to my childhood..........had to be A's or A+'s, if it wasn't, what was wrong with me?

This is why I have the nice, efficient outer Mary Alice who is emotionless and can do all kinds of things......it is HER on that resume, not "me". If I were to try those jobs, I would fail - my fears, my emotions would get the best of me and I would not survive it. This is why it has been so hard for me lately after having had the surgery and not being "productive".......I feel like a waste of space/air. No matter that physically I can't do this stuff - I HAVE to do it all to have any self-esteem.

I can't advocate my methods of splitting my personalities, but that is the only way I survive on a day to day basis. When the real me is out, then I simply get swept away by feelings and end up hurting myself.

I hope you find a solution and help him - but with all the support you are giving him, I am sure you will.

Mary Alice