I ate lunch today now at 1:30pm instead of pushing myself to hold off till 4pm like I was considering. I’m getting better at noticing when I’m actually hungry and making sure I eat when I notice it regardless of feeling guilty about it. I ate 2 pieces of sourdough toast and avocado for breakfast but that honestly was not enough to hold me over and I was wondering why I kept thinking about food later, it’s because I was still hungry and it was past the time I normally eat lunch. So I ate some Alfredo just now. Glad I didn’t push myself till 4pm.

I’m taking a rest day today from exercise. Even though everything in me wants me to get on the treadmill. I’m not doing it. I’m just relaxing today.

I’m trying to work through the guilt I feel for eating

I found a tracker app that kinda tracks days since whatever you want to track. And I’m using it to track days since last eating disorder behavior. I really want to make it to 365 days without giving into ED behaviors. So no restricting, no bingeing, and no overexercising. Right now I’m at 19 hours so far without any ED behaviors. Yesterday I was obsessing about exercise and pushed myself to exercise even though it was supposed to be a rest day.

I’m really trying to commit to this intuitive eating thing. Me and my therapist are working on it.