Whelp. Hopefully my pdoc will take me seriously tomorrow because apparently I haven't known how to talk like I'm in crisis with my case manager in like a year despite being almost constantly in and out of crisis mode for the past year. I guess I can just smile through it and say, "yup, supposed to take a training course to walk dogs soon and set up shadowing" meanwhile if I stand up too quickly I will pass tf out at this point or if someone says the wrong thing I can repress it for five minutes until I'm alone and then be a threat to myself. Yeah, I've improved and it's ****ing great when no one believes you're struggling.