Ok, complex issue here. My husband lies about stupid stuff just so I don’t get mad, worried or to avoid an argument. Examples: the lawn mower blade needs to be replaced so before I can mow the lawn. Work called, I have to go back in, but I’ll call if I’m too tired to drive home. My back is much better now (required surgery). My blood sugar is 180 (actually 300). My doctor is on vacation so I can’t get an appointment. The store was out of …. (in a rural area, can be believable sometimes).

So I completely understand about the lies to avoid an argument, they are frustrating and some days I’d like to wring his neck. I’ve tried to explain a million times that if he was just honest and up front, the arguments would be much less. I’m going to find out the truth, so why add anger to the mix when you don’t have to?

But on the other hand, my husband and I have been married 22 years, and if tomorrow I walked into a bedroom and found him naked with another woman, I know that there would be a perfectly logical explanation. I have absolutely no question in my mind about his fidelity and love.

It took many years but the lies to avoid argument have disappeared. Things like the lawn mower blade or the store he’ll now actually say he doesn’t feel like mowing the lawn right now or he forgot to get X at the store. He still won’t call if he’s too tired to drive home, or lie about his blood sugar or how much pain he’s really in.

Talk to him, let him know how much this bothers you,and how it's affecting your relationship. Let him know that you need to know what's going on.