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nonightowl · Apr 17, 2025, 11:25 AM

Yesterday afternoon was miserable, with an hours long power outage. That's when we get brutal reminders of how dependent we are on the power. I wanted to take some time for a long, soaking bath for my aches. (The sauna at the gym has been out of order for maintenance for over a month)

Glad it was still light out, but it exacerbated the loneliness. I absolutely HATE disruption/uncertainty and get worse as I get older. So that outage was both a disruption and uncertainty (how long it will last).

Then I get triggered by hearing my neighbors since I didn't have my music or fan on to help muffle those sounds. Both my next door neighbors had visitors and I could hear them talking. D a m n hardwood floors they started using years ago really amplifies sound. I didn't even have anyone to text, call, or go hang out with until the power is back. A lot of young people live in my building, and a lot of them got in their cars and drove off. I could've left but no where to go. Plus, I was hoping it would come back soon. Sometimes the power is out just a half hour or something. You just don't know.

Going out would have been even more disruptive.

And for some reason, I ALWAYS get a phone call during an outage.

But my machine/Caller ID won't work without power. I didn't answer it cause it's probably an unwanted or robocall. It's VERY loud, the default ring. It echoes throughout my unit. And they kept calling. Made me so anxious. Nobody calls me, but I wondered if maybe the doctor's office needs to reschedule my appointment. It turned out to be the cable company, as they called again when the power was back. A robocall.

I had racing thoughts about my show not being recorded, that maybe this is a cyberattack by China, etc.

It was windy, so it was probably the reason for it, though not THAT windy like in some areas.

I'm ambivalent about my routine/rituals, yet when I get disrupted I'm in a tailspin. All I could do was read by flashlight, and listen to my Walkman. (Yeah I still have one of those!) And use my battery powered nature sounds machine to try to block out the neighbors at least somewhat.

When the power came back, it was too late for dinner. Just ate some trail mix and the outage actually threw off my entire evening. Didn't watch my regular show, AND we ran out of hot water again. I needed that soothing hot water, and I wondered if the outage impacted the boiler. I thought it was gas powered but maybe it's both. I didn't ask the manager because he doesn't respond a lot of times. And I didn't say the hot water was out because one time he said it was just me. I KNOW that's not true. Trying to gaslight me.

There wasn't even activity on here at the time, and my phone's battery drains so fast. (It was like that even when new) My borrowed laptop lost the signal due to the outage. I had a hard time finding information online about the outage because it's trial and error with search terms. That (browser) drained the battery for sure, but I need power to charge the phone! Stupid outage map was so slow to load, and I don't have the strongest cell signal anyway.

Even though the manager told us it was widespread, for some unknown reason I didn't feel less alone!

I know there's more important stuff going on, but I have very little in my life to enjoy. Or things that sustain me during these times.

Just had to rant and this thread seemed the best place.