I don’t want to be freaking hospitalized and “get okay” and get out and be ready to kill myself within five hours again. Okay, just not worth it the 50th or whateverth time. I don’t care if it’s medical, ED, or psych. I’m done. I’m fking done. Nothing is worth any of this bs that is probably never going to truly end anyway so why should I bother.

I’m gonna let the pain from the last cracker subside, then try not to open up my skull and go to bed. This day can go to Hell, this week can too, and you know what, this entire fking year can.

I see no point in trying anymore.