How am I supposed to get something out of treatment if I can’t make up my mind about anything and I spend so much time cussing out these people in my journal, but sticking up for them when someone else criticizes something I complained about probably two days ago but feel differently about now, and then really wondering if they have my best interests at heart or if they know what they’re talking about, then trusting wholeheartedly, then taking everything back and regretting everything and hiding and lying, etc…?

One session my therapist is total dog piddle, the next she’s practically my savior, my case manager somehow every week I get way too upset whether she shows up or not. My pdoc I somehow think is going to kill me half the time, but hope she saves my life before I end it through a combination of stupidity and passion or just plain apathy.

Being in ACT (Assertive community treatment) is almost more stressful than having SMI.

How do I make this work?