Yes.

Like i once told our friend granite here long long ago - its like a cheesecake with cherry sauce mixed into it. The cherry sauce is the evil introject. You cant separate it out - you destroy the cheesecake. Oooh - or The Fly. They joined dnas. Geez no wonder that movie stuck with me as a kid.

Ya know, cuz we keep seeing you takes these steps, then get disheartened. I learned to distance myself from my mother because her only mode of engagement was to blast me back to the stone age. I keep doing that to myself. Shes been gone almost ten years? Last night i dreamt she read some of my notes in my desk and that maybe that was why she wasnt jumping on me - she understood me a little. That was the first dream i EVER had about her with something positive in it. That understanding never happened in real life. She told me - in my 50's - that i always did everything the wrong way - on purpose, to hurt her. Talk about an ego.