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nonightowl · 10:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 3rd rock

Still feeling very lonely and sad. Sleeping enough, but still exhausted all the time. Apartment's a mess and I have no motivation to clean any of it. Even just taking out the trash and having a shower takes all the energy I have. I just really want someone to talk to and I have no one.

I feel that way too.

The volunteer who's supposed to be making friendly calls to me has only called me once in 3 months. We've texted a bit but that kind of communication seems to be for brief exchanges. Not the long kind I want. Since she's a volunteer, I don't feel right to complain.

I've asked for an additional caller but heard nothing so far. It's been about a month. I'm tired of always having to follow up with people because they don't respond, even to say "I'm still working on it."

What's happening in this country makes me feel even more isolated. So I spend time in threads about it, which is better than feeling alone sitting on my sofa looking at the news. When the power went out and I found out "thousands" are without, I still felt like it was just me.

And I don't get why the media keeps showing the same images of people smiling, with their arms around other people smiling. It's like they are saying this is what my life is supposed to be like. What little "family" I have left threw me under the bus. Hence, not "family" just blood or DNA connected.

Last night I had nightmares I was left alone in my parents' house with just our dog. Just abandoned. In real life, I found out my parents left me out on a lot of legal documents and decisions. So that nightmare was symbolic, left alone in a house way too big for one person.