My Support Forums - View Single Post - Bipolar Check-in #88 (again!)

LadyShadow · Apr 23, 2025, 11:31 PM

Thanks so much ladies for reaching out - @Blueberrybook and @Nammu - I have severe codependency issues. They have been with me a very long time. My relationship with my husband was awful and then I got myself into another intense one right after that. I have such good healthy relationships with friends and family, but you're right it doesn't feel like it is enough. I am completely devoid of all good feelings for myself, that I NEED to be with someone. It is so bad and unhealthy, and I know it.

My insurance got all messed up at the beginning of the year too. They classified my therapy as a "specialist" and now charge me $45 to see my therapist per session. I can't afford that at all, and I used to see him weekly, now it is down to once a month. My friends are basically tired of hearing me go on and on about this, so I don't burden them with it anymore, leaving me no one to talk to. I am incredibly lonely, and in this unhealthy "thing" with my ex and these emails and now occasional phone calls. I am in such pain on a daily basis,

Possible trigger:

I often get suicidal

- I don't talk about it much, and haven't mentioned here till now, because I am ashamed of what I have become. I wish I knew a solution, but the fact is I am unwilling to do anything about it. I am even lucky I am still sober. It's been so much this past year, and honestly, you're right, I haven't fully gotten over that manic episode at all.