Toxic people will always look to blame others for their own short comings. Plus the fact that she expected your children to abandon you and threatened them was something a controlling narcissistic person does.

Also, denial and blame is very much the language of alcoholics and addicts.

It’s a waste of time getting angry and calling toxic people out. Once you show anger they win. Toxic people actually get dopamine from emotionally manipulating others. Remember you are not dealing with a healthy person.