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Guidepost 3: Cultivating Your Resilient Spirit, Letting Go of Numbing and Powerlessness
Resilience is your ability to overcome adversity and recover from losses, errors, and setbacks.
Brown shares five common qualities of resilient people:
We are resourceful problem-solvers
We seek help when they need it
We take ownership of their ability to take action to manage their feelings
We access social support
We connect with other people
Brown says “across the board, wholehearted men and women are spiritual people.” We have “a deeply held belief that we are inextricably connected to each other by something greater than us.”
It’s this oneness that provides purpose and perspective in life, especially when the going gets rough & tough. It helps us recognize that we always have what we need within us to persevere through challenges and setbacks.
Numbing, on the other hand, is a way of ignoring the challenges that need your attention. Numbing activities keep you but they don’t develop resilience. And since they’re a mechanism for avoidance, they sustain feelings of powerlessness.
In the long run, numbing makes us less well-equipped to handle the inevitable challenges of our lives. And by numbing the low points, you also numb your ability to experience the potential high-points of life.
Start Practicing:
Recognize that resilience is a skill you can build through intentional practice. Then, start practicing with these 6 approaches to develop crazy-good resilience.
Bring awareness to your go-to numbing strategies. Is it food? TV? Your smartphone? Pornography? Alcohol? Awareness of these moments creates a fork-in-the-road, where you can choose a new path. Ask yourself: “Would I like to step forward into courage? Or step back into comfort?”
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I score very high on this scale. It's hard work.
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