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Originally Posted by Blue_Bird
Finished watching final destination 4. Watching the 5th one tomorrow then I’m all caught up to go see the new one coming out in theater May 16th.
Had a good day, pretty low key day. Just chilled at home. Looking forward to the weekend.
I was feeling tired earlier but I got a second wind and now I’m wide awake. It’s going on 10pm. Just took a shower. Trying to decide what else to do. Doesn’t really matter what time I go to sleep because I can sleep as late as I want tomorrow. Kinda been a night owl the past few nights. Normally I’m in bed asleep by 8:30pm or 9 at the latest. Lately I’ve been going to bed around midnight sometimes later. Doesn’t really matter I guess when I sleep. As long as I do actually sleep
Been dissociating a lot less lately. I’m not sure why. To be honest. Could be from therapy idk. We were working on EMDR for awhile. Then took a break for a few sessions. I see her again next Wednesday. The general trend though is that it’s happening a lot less frequently. When it does happen I’m usually able to stop it now instead of it going on for hours on end and turning into panic. Idk what has changed but I’m glad it’s happening less.
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I think you're beginning to experience that you can actually influence something that seemed to come as go on its own for a long time, dissociation.
I think you're doing it as a result of the work you're doing in therapy. It's indirect, but it's really powerful.
I had a similar experience with anxiety. It got into a pattern of coming and going, seemingly randomly and I accepted that and coped with it as well as I could. But with therapy, I was able to step back from the moment to moment ups and downs and realize that there are actually points at which I can influence what's happening. They were subtle and seemingly insignificant but they were there.
I think you're at the beginning of something that will help you a lot. Finally allowing some control in the chaos
