These are fantastically great questions; not sure I can answer completely. Not sure what ROI is, but I'm guessing from context that it's whether her medical team can share her information with me. The answer to that is yes, the HIPAA includes me, and we talk about her meds and treatment.

I think there's no official advanced directive on file anywhere, so I guess I have no legal authority to make the decisions I made. But my wife is counting on me to let her go. Several years ago she even expected me to give her all her meds so that she could "leave early." Then when I refused she was mad at me.

But she says things like, "You'd be so better off without me," and "You should never have married me," "I'm such a burden." So clearly her judgement is off.

If I felt that an affordable treatment were available that could take away most of her pain, anxiety and depression, I might be willing to arrange it. But I'm not sure I'm able to -- I'm just incredibly tired and worn out. I was laid off several weeks ago, and I just had surgery a few days ago. My daughter needs help and her partner was just released from an emergency mental health episode. I feel very overwhelmed.

I do wonder whether I'm under some scrutiny, though. If anyone really paid attention to my actions, they'd be aware of my ambivalence toward my wife's "outcome."

• I mentioned DNR to the ER doctor; I think I even declined Narcan.
• I admitted to delaying my call for EMT for 90 minutes after I found my wife on the floor.
• I'm not following up on the recommended treatment plan.