Been struggling with a flood of SI today. May be a tad hypomanic or mixed again (this time, it would be my fault because I had a ridiculous amount of caffeine yesterday). I'm trying to decide if I have it in me to go to Mass this evening. I'd probably just be stuck with a flood of SI while there. My faith does help me stay alive when suicidal, but prayer doesn't actually tend to help me in the moment-it often makes things worse for some reason. Mass is in just under three hours, so I have a tiny bit of time to decide.

In my restlessness today, I went and bought myself a new water bottle. I bought a style that will allow me to get rid of some other ones so I can declutter a bit since the studio I will be moving to soon does not have a ton of cabinet space. And, I'll need those cabinets for both my food and my kitchen stuff. I'm not sure what I'm going to do about my restlessness/inability to focus now. I've already went on a drive and on a walk.