You both have good insights.
and it'sbeen a CRAZY day! Today started the depression yoga class. Right before i left I saw an email from T to move tonight's session either an hour later or to 11am. Yoga ends at 11:30. T was hoping for 11 and so I called, saying maybe (since they're in the same bldg) i can just end yoga early. T said she really thinks the class will be good for me, but she'd talk to my inst.
So i get there - she didn't talk to my inst.
In the class i totally start having an anxiety attack!! Claustrophobic with 10 ppl crammed in this teeeeeny room and everything just comes up in my face; the ptsd, the fact that there's a guy next to me, i start crying and don't want to be seen.... i keep thinking t at 11, t at 11 and can't focus on the class. The awareness alone sends the ptsd through the roof with body memories and then the pranic breathing being heard on all sides.....oh good grief.

Just for extra fun - I had forgotten half my supplements, so no mood help for me (forgot the 5HTP and Tyrosine spray). So i dash out of there at 11 and the front desk said t wants to talk to me.... i'm like - i know! my apt is now. they look confused and say someone else is scheduled right in 15 minutes. @_@ so i go out side to hyperventlate -i mean breathe- and wait for t. She shows up and asks if i'm ready for session! So, I explain the situation, we talk for a sec, she figures out what is going on and tries to walk me back to yoga (like 5 whole steps away) and i start hyperventlating and tell her NOoooooo i'm not going in there due to a panic attack. so she takes me back to her office and we sit there until her apt shows up- and i am a lot more calm. So i am due back tonight for the regularly scheduled (rescheduled) program.
It was nice of her to take me back and have me be calm. I was embarrassed and didn't want to - but she put a giding hand on my back and had me go with her anyway.

I'm gonna give this yoga thing one more shot next week (with the right supplements intact) and see...
Meanwhile... I am trying to get myself to accomplish one thing today. I must say, starting the day off in anxiety is a lot different than starting in depression - i have a lot of energy - but it is *scattered* really badly. i can't seem to pick one thing (stuuupid!) Shall i nap (since I didn't sleep at all last night?), clean the house, wash clothes, shower, bathe the cat, straighten my paperwork, pay bills?... so so soooooo much to be done. I know each task will require more steps because there is such chaos here. THus the delema.

I think i vote for nap for now. then shower.