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eskielover · Apr 30, 2025, 03:35 AM

Quote:

I just don’t get how someone that smart can’t see and trust the evidence before them and go, “Oh sh… It’s me. I’m the problem.”

I wondered exactly the same. My ex bragged about how high his IQ was in college (Bragging was a red flag) & yet he he barely passed to graduate (red flag -attitude issue). I saw attitude issues for 33 years in the marriage but I always fought rather than giving in. When I finally left, I KNEW it was over cause I never thought about him escept to try to sort out what in the world waa really wrong with him that I was so repulsed by him when I finally did leave. It waan't until 11 years later when I was back in Calif taking him to court that he said he was sure I would come back to him aftee 2 years of being away but only after I never came back "he finally wondered if he wasn't maybe the reason I left". Like duh.....I told him he waa the reason I was leaving. He fought the divorce I tried to get before I left & I had the means after my mom died to just walk out & start life over far away without the divorce with money he had no claim on.

I could never comprehend how someone with such a high IQ could be so totally clueless about life. Had a couple of therapists after I left who helped me understand from what I described that his brain did not function like normal people. In my case, I knew he wasn't on drugs or using alcohol but that his diagnosed adult ADD & possible high functioning ASD could definitely be the cause for not taking responsibility for his own behavior.

I just knew I had so much real peace & happiness when I was no longer around him aftet 33 years of fighting & telling him I didn't marry him to be his momma. Seeing how incapable he actually is of taking care of himself now, both my daughter & I are sure there is now some level of dementia going on at his age too.

It is so difficult to comprehend the level of cluelessness some people have with self-awareness when we are so aware that it seems "obvious to the most casual observer". Some things we never will understand about them & we are just thankful to be "outta there"