My Support Forums - View Single Post - Bipolar Check-in #88 (again!)

LadyShadow · Apr 30, 2025, 06:36 PM

Thanks so much @Blueberrybook and @Nammu - my therapist didn't technically give up, but it's really hard to talk to a therapist once a month. I wish I had more therapy, or some classes that I could take. I could always rejoin CODA, but I HATE online meetings, that's why I love my AA meeting so much, because it's in person. I have tried the online groups, and it feels so disconnected and not even empathetic. The best way to describe it is you're timed, you spill your guts about your issue, then your time is up and it's on to the next person. Time is really an issue because they try to give everyone a chance. But I get absolutely nothing from it. I mean no one even gives you feedback, it's pointless.

I have Melody Beattie's books which are supposed to be really helpful, but I never connected with the material. I am in desperate need of a better therapist, or a support group, but there is just none available. I do feel like a masochist, because I am attached to things and people that hurt me and I have no way out. You can't just say, "oh just stop doing that or just stop talking to them" because if it was that easy, I would have done it a long time ago.

All I am doing now is trying to refocus. My rent went up, and bills are getting high, so I applied for some jobs this afternoon. I have this horrible criminal record, so I am faced with that barrier, but I am going to try something. Thank God I have my faith or all of this would have been completely hopeless.

I am so sorry @Nammu at the seemingly political situation you have going on in your community. It seems like they wanted or needed a scapegoat, and even though that lady is harmless, she really got hurt. I am glad the president resolved things.

@Moose72 - I do hope you feel better soon. Is there like an Urgent Care nearby that can do a free quick test for you?