You sound like you're having some massive compassion fatigue right now, this going on so long and it being someone you are so close to (even if things feel strained right now). You got the ROI right, it's a release of information, usually just signing a paper saying you can talk to her doctors and they can talk to you.


It shouldn't be on your shoulders to keep your wife from attempting again, even though it feels like it is or should be.

Given you can talk to her doctors, and that mental health is health and other than doing your best to show love without wearing yourself down into a hole yourself, the only thing you can really do is keep in touch with her providers and make sure they're in the loop, especially if her judgment is off and she may not be reporting accurately to them (whether intentionally or not).

Do be sure to keep up your own self-care to the greatest extent you can. Regardless of where your wife and the rest of your family is at, you can't do anything if you're busy trying to keep yourself afloat in raft taking on water faster than you can get rid of it.

Your perspective on euthanasia is a fair one that I agree with myself. I think it gets tricky with mental illness though because there's a lot of literature of "this can get better," and "this can be treated," and whatnot when that is not always the case, and it's not even clear when that is the case or not, and maybe there is something that will work, but it is inaccessible for one reason or another.

Have you discussed with anyone (your own treatment team or your wife's) your concerns about how things have been and where they're going and your compassion fatigue/burnout/being overwhelmed?