Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyShadow
Nothing to report really other than I am sinking. I am giving too much and not getting anything back. Everything feels so up in the air. I know I have so much to be grateful for, but I am not feeling very grateful right now. I don't know where this mood is coming from, maybe because I didn't sleep well. The past few nights I have had the CPAP on my face, but cannot go to sleep so I just lay there for hours. I know that's not helping. Pdoc appointment came and went, I could really use therapy. I am so mad I can't afford one anymore.
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Not sure if MSF still does the BetterHelp discount, but I was able to get a few decent phone sessions through that when I was splitting too hard to talk to my team (I liked the phone sessions because I could walk around wherever AND do therapy. I could do therapy at the park or in a forest or behind the library instead of some small dingy office with furniture that sets off my obsessive thoughts). Some people are claiming ChatGPT does better therapy than most therapists (which I believe, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s going to be good therapy but it might be worth a shot). You can see if there are warmlines available you too—like crisis lines but they’re supposed to be more relaxed and focused on good conversation. If it does get bad there are the crisis lines too. They’re very hit or miss I find, but now when they’re “miss” I just turn it into having fun screwing with them—not like they’d be helping anyone else anyway.
When was the last time you went to a meeting? Would that help?