More thoughts - today i cleared time to take a shower and take out some garbage. I have eaten and exercised and its only one oclock. Its like i have to make sure its not going to hurt.

Thats kinda what the liverdisease guy who talks about addiction says. Dont quit drinking on your own, get help, or else it can hurt you. But we are not accustomed to it not hurting. We do not trust feeling good. Its back to the two wolves, which onne do you feed?

I know my parents anesthetized me with food (and fear, but mostly food) to control me, to shut me up, to immobilize me. To make it easy on them. Why is good so scary?