Quote:
Originally Posted by Blueberrybook
@ MuddyBoots We'd both be better off deleting our ED playlists, that's for sure. Are you managing to at least maintain your current weight and not keep losing? Remember you do not NEED to get worse before going into ED treatment, in fact, you can do your hardest to try to improve things some. In some ways, I've accepted this ED is going to stay with me probably for the rest of my life, but it definitely doesn't need to stay at its most destructive. Even if I have a lot of ED thoughts, I don't act on them at least, it's progress of a sort. I'd rather not have ED thoughts at all, but at least I'm not dealing with long-term ED complications other than osteopenia. Even if you can't control your thoughts, you can control your actions following those thoughts. It's incredibly uncomfortable, but it's do-able. You don't have to get worse before you get better. |
I just weighed myself for the first time since last Sunday in the hospital, and the number is technically down, but I could say it’s within regular weight fluctuation limits (and it’s with an old probably not 100% accurate scale).
I see my pdoc tomorrow and will be weighed with a more accurate scale, but I have to walk and they’re predicting rain so I’m probably going to be weighed wet (then be told it’s good I’ve been maintaining since the hospital when my shoes themselves will be like 3lbs haha).
It’s bad, but negative consequences to health have never deterred me from something. (At Cannon mountain: “Always full send, my friend!”) I mean I’m already dealing with stuff near daily from substance abuse, hypersexuality, purging, sui attempts, and other impulsive shyt, but there’s not really a part of my brain that makes me want to fix them that much or avoid causing more issues. I know the physical issues don’t fix the emotional ones, but if I can focus on them more than the nontangible distress they’re certainly an unhealthy distraction.