Google it. Theres a book by jack and kelly novick (tt's friends). A long excerpt is available.

I was raised to be pretty stoic, betw the italian parents and catholic church and being a girl. Stoic in the sense of "go away dont bother us." So it was dont feel, dont cry, dont DO - literally just go sit on the couch (and read). So no interaction, no connection, no talking. Just butt muscle, no emotional muscle.

I think you and i are jack spratt and his wife here.