Condolences @Kada33...

I encourage you to:

1. Get professional help...

2. Cut off all contact with family while you sort things out.

I've been where you are and am so happy I didn't succeed.

It took a while to sort it all out, but you've done the right thing by reaching out.

I'll share a mantra with you that also helped me as I worked through it...

I'll be damned if I'll give the bastards that!

That being my life!

Please don't give them that, they've already done enough damage, and you are correct...

You've done nothing wrong!