I've had some home aid like once a week for an hour. I had to cancel after several years because the service became crap.

But when it worked well it was like this. The carers had files on us which they should look into now and then.

Mine had, what they were supposed to help with. That meaning the things I was worst at, in my case cleaning and grocery shopping. Things not to say, in my case suggest where to clean, since I well know what is needed, doesn't mean I have the energy to do that, so I will feel that is calling me stupid or lazy. It tells about my illnesses. It tells a little about my communication style, what I'm like, my hobbies and my pets. This could have anything to do with our lives.

I feel this kind of plan is needed and read before anyone could come here. When carers were still good, they stuck to my file. The file was written by their boss but of course with the help of me.

For myself, I LIKED when carers talked about themselves. I liked when they talked like to a normal person. That they took some interest in my life. For some stupid reason they were not allowed to show emotion if something bad had happened, so I felt they were cold. Low affection is meant when the client is having a meltdown, not when they are just telling you stuff.

You need to know that they will always feel below you, even if they are smarter, the situation causes that, so be very sensitive.

If there is no file, the best is to sit down and ask the client what she expects, what her triggers are and what to help with. They have to feel in charge. And no, that doesn't mean they can be rude. It's perfectly good to say that the subject they brought up is making you uncomfortable and also say that it goes the other way too. Some can get panicky if they don't get an answer, I have a friend like that, I will try to weasel myself out of the question but in a way that she doesn't feel a loss of control. If you think of it, so called normal people are super nosey too, but they aren't as open about it. It's OK to say that you are different people and some things you will do differently. It can be an autism thing, but it can also be that she feels that carers have power to say whatever so she will do this to not feel as much of a client. Carers ask us private things all the time.

It's hard to work with autistic people because all are different, when you learned someone's style, you work with another that is totally different.