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May 10, 2025, 11:11 AM
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Wanderer of Distant Stars
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Member Since: May 2012
Location: North Carolina, USA. Originally New York
Posts: 26,701
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Thanks so much everyone for commenting and reaching out. The past 24 hours was very hard, but luckily, I was with my sponsor and friends last night, so those thoughts left me. I can get really dramatic, and the fact that I see a therapist just once a month is really hurting. I have no support. I don't tell my parents any of this because I don't want them to worry. I actually don't tell anyone, and my sponsor urged me to speak up more.
She treated me to a steak dinner last night, and gave me my 4-year chip. I am going to restart working on my steps with her too. If I can't get therapy, I can focus on my 12 steps of recovery, and at least work through some of the things I am dealing with. I am lucky that when it got so bad yesterday, I had plans to go somewhere.
I appreciate you guys so much for your thoughts and kind words. I am so lucky to be able to come here and tell you guys this stuff because no one in my life knows how much pain I am in or how much I really struggle. Good to be home today. Just going to unpack, open all my windows, clean, do laundry, and burn some relaxing incense. It's a really nice day today too.
Oh, I am also going to my first confession later and tell the priest
maybe he will have some thoughts. My good friend from church was nice enough to walk me through what I am supposed to say and do during confession.
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