I've been reading a bit lately about the survival mind, and how it's actually a different functional system then your normal, rational brain. Apparently, that's why you can't rationalize away anxiety. It's like we know rationally that there's no real threat, we've done all we can, or something is beyond our control, but that part of our brain is on the other side of the room, still looking for the "ins" independently.

You're not to blame, at least not more than 50% according to Codependent No More. What's done is done, and you've made the best decisions you could based on what was available to you at the time.

I've learned that when I feel anxious and even stuck, sometimes it helps to adopt the 12 step mindset, and focus only on today. Do you have everything you need for today? If there's anything you should be doing about a situation today, do it. Otherwise, try to focus on your day-to-day tasks to the best of your ability. Doing that is a form of mindfulness- focusing on the here and now, this time and place. It can help you get back into your body and surroundings, and out of survival/anxiety mode.