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eskielover · May 12, 2025, 03:00 PM

I think at least for me, there is usually a little bit of anger when I get an email from my ex & the anger translates into anxiety too. This is after 18 years of being away from him & 7 years divorced.

Last summer he told my daughter I got a jury duty summons in Calif where I had not lived for 17 years. He told her he would send the notice so I could respond & never did. II couldn't respond without the # on the notice so I just blew it off. I guess my daughter got on his case cause he emailed me the information. Refused to respond so I used one of the canned replies. Not too long ago he emailed me about getting a realtor call about whether I was wanting to sell my home or wanted him to give me the information about who called. My one word reply: NO.

Bottom line....I hate having any communication with him & never gave him my new phone # cause he abused the one I had when I moved here. Just having anything to do with him is stressful & brings back up all the reasons I couldn't stand him & left in the first place.

I look back with lots of "If I had done this (or that) I wouldn't be having the legal issues because of him now". But I also know that when I didn't take those actions, I was still in the healing process from the 33 years with him & really had no idea what my next action really should have been & what I did was based on what I thought would benefit us both more in the long run. But like with everything....he screwed that up for both of us too.

The bottom line is we never truly know how to best handle things because we don't know the future, so we do the best we can with the knowledge we have at the time & some times crap slips through the crack we end up having to deal with later. But we actually did the best we could.

Just remember there will always be anxiety when that STBX or ex pops up in our lives. It is a normal reaction. We use the time between to recover our own normal