I broke no contact last night with my ex husband. I unblocked and texted him for the first time in over a year. I'm falling apart... and am unraveling. That marriage cost me so much of myself, my life, and my mental health... and I am STILL NOT back to normal - it keeps happening. His best friend snubbing me last week set this off.... my ex husband telling me a month ago when I ran into him that he knows I had written a not-so-flattering post on Facebook about him. He knows I called him a narcissist. He told me last night over text that he is not a narcissist.

I feel sick... meaning, I think I am getting mentally sick again. I don't feel well. All the crap going down at work that is making me feel horrible, and all of this crap that also makes me feel horrible. I believe that my ex husband is likely telling people lies about me - either that, or secrets that he knows about me.

I feel victimized all over again.... at work, and in my personal life because of my ex.

I don't want to go to work. I don't want to see anyone. I don't want to deal with life. I am a freaking mess...

I feel cornered... I really don't. know how to deal with any of this anymore. I am not well.