You are a very kind and compassionate person and I have a lot of respect for you.

You asked "What if I could learn to correct these reactive tendencies in myself? That would be something, and because at times the knee jerk reactions are so immediate... there seems to be no space whatsoever between the stimulous and the response, how do I ever get into that gap with any degree of conscious awareness before the reaction is triggered?"

I do not know what would work for you but for me I follow my breath and when I take a deep breath and let it out it gives me a little space. I can decide to change the topic, excuse myself and go to the restroom, say I hear you or something else.

My track record for rescuing people that I have tried is dismal: 50 people I tried to save - none saved. I find that the only way people will change is if they want to change. That is my experience

CANDC

[If you want me to see your reply to this post please tag me by including @CANDC in your message - not in requoting my message and not the first word of your message]