I'm not hurting anyone. I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm not suicidal or anything. Some days, like today, I took 200mg of seroquel in the morning and took 200mg before I went to bed. I couldn't handle the whole anxiety thing today. I felt really weird, so I cleaned and listened to music to distract myself from the weird feeling because something doesn't feel right, but I don't know what. It's enough to make my head want to explode! What is going on? I'm trying to take the advice an IP doctor gave me once, which was to not think so much, but I can't stop.

I keep on thinking about alternate dimensions and I mean, it's really interesting, almost exciting, when you think about I'm kind of looking forward to finding out what happens in a way. Obviously not anytime soon, but damn. We all get our turn eventually anyway, like everyone has before us.

I've just been... contemplating all day. Things are looking brighter. Like, pictures are smiling and nodding at me. I can feel positive energy and actually feel it channeling into my heart. I feel like I'm wrapped in a warm blanket. I am overjoyed. This never happens. Usually I'm just tortured by the negative entity. Not this time though. And it's just... nice. I like it. But I still have that vague weird feeling, like the negative entity is just waiting around the corner. Waiting to whisper to me, "I'm here." I feel sick thinking about it.

And seroquel is hard to get off of man! All I know is it helps my anxiety and if I don't take at least 200mg I'm drowned with anxiety and fvcking nauseous to the point of head over toilet or taking some dramamine. Disgusting med! I'm mad at my old psychiatrist. 😡 He got me dependent on seroquel and diazepam! Jerk.

(Ignore that last sentence. I think it was inspired my the negative entity.)

@Blueberrybook

Talking to her wouldn't matter. She wouldn't listen to me anyway. And no, I can't get a different psychiatrist. She's the only one who will prescribe me my diazepam.