Good morning , I slept pretty good. 7 1/2 hours. Was hoping to sleep in but Mustachio woke me up at 5am. It’s been about an hour since I took the Lamictal. Glad I got it over with. That’s the hardest part about starting new meds for me. Taking the first dose. I about had a panic attack after I swallowed it. My anxiety goes haywire when I start new meds I convince myself they’re gonna kill me in immediately after taking the first dose. Once I take the first dose and realize I haven’t dropped dead since taking it it’s much easier for me going forward. So now to just take it daily and very slowly increase the dose as per my psychiatrist guidelines for a few months till we reach a therapeutic dose then start coming off the trileptal after that.

That lithium toxicity that put me in the ICU for 8 days with kidney failure and seizures really did a number on me in terms of medical trauma /fear about meds. I still haven’t gotten over my anxiety about meds and that happened when I was 19 and I’m 30 now almost 31.

Anyway I had a bunch of plans today but I think I’m just gonna take it easy. I’m just trying keep my stress levels low and not to spiral into anxiety/paranoia about the new med.