I actually hadn’t thought about that. I have so many thoughts and questions in my head that I wish I could ask him, but at the same time, I don’t want to push him any more than I already have.

When we last talked about it, I asked if he had been hiding diapers for a long time, but he didn’t want to answer. Same when I asked if it was just at night that he used them. From the little he has told me, it does seem like this has been going on for a while, and that it’s not just a nighttime thing.
It sounds like he’s used diapers at other times around the house too. The only thing he’s really said is that he feels calm and safe when he wears them.

What I find so strange is that I never noticed anything before. Thinking back, I do remember him getting irritated sometimes when I’d come into his room to put away clothes or clean up.

He’d tell me to leave and that he’d take care of it himself. But I didn’t think much of it, at least not until now, when I’m starting to wonder if that might have been connected somehow.

I’ve also been thinking that I probably spend most of my time with his younger siblings, and maybe I haven’t given him as much attention as he actually needs. At the same time, he’s always been pretty independent, mature for his age, and has spent a lot of time with friends. Still, the thought has crossed my mind that maybe this is a way of trying to get more of my attention?

I had really hoped he’d open up more after we went and bought the diapers he asked for. But so far, he hasn’t said much more. I have noticed that he’s been a little more social lately, which I take as a good sign. I imagine this must have been a heavy secret for him to carry around, and I really hope he’ll feel safe enough to share more eventually. He’s always struggled a bit with self-confidence and tends to worry a lot over small things, so part of me wonders if this is all somehow tied to that.

It’s just so hard to know how to help him in the right way, or if I’m maybe worrying too much. I really want to do what’s best for him, but right now, I just feel kind of lost.