Sup guys!! Back from the hospital! Pdoc had someone walk me to the ER, explain and they went ahead with their normal process (threw me in the dungeon), but randomly a guard came in the room (teeny room, bed in the dead center so all corners), I got PETRIFIED and hit him, and then was on involuntary status. They did one session of ECT because of my poor reactions to most meds, but “get undressed and let us drug you unconscious “ ALSO had me flipping out after and they couldn’t go ahead with any more. (FYI the 1st time I did ECT was at another hospital where I could remain clothed).

They couldn’t transfer me to eating disorder IP (long wait list, insurance, IEA cross state lines shyt, still having a BMI over 18 and having a decent heart rate and not a CRAZY low blood pressure), so I’m still on the waitlist for eating disorder PHP which I’m told I will most likely he denied for being too acute. I was referred to a trauma center in Boston which can do Zoom therapy, but they don’t take my insurance, but have a sliding scale so it’d “only” be $25 a week (if I get a season pass to my favorite resort to ski and go over 15 days a season that would he cheaper per year if we exclude paying for other things involved like rent, internet for therapy and gas and gear repair for skiing). My mom and I have a better relationship now though, and she said she would help pay for it if I couldn’t come up with the $1,200+ a year and it’s helping.

So, yeah, went voluntarily to the hospital initially, have another IEA on my record now and am covered head to toe in bruises (from the guard attack/being pinned after and also them putting in/taking out 6 IVs over the time. Oh, and in giving me 20mg of valium in intramuscular injection they hit the bone in my butt so I am limping too). (Am probably dependent on benzos because literally all they gave me was Adderall (was told I’m too hard to talk to off it), clonidine, and valium (oral and injections), Ativan (IV and IM), Xanax (which they learned just makes me swear a little too much), and a couple 1-2mg doses of Klonopin.