I tried getting off the Adderall IP, but the NP didn’t like me flipping out ALL day and said I was impossible to talk to and constantly diverting any group I showed up to (wasn’t even allowed to go to some).

I’ll try skipping my meds this morning and my appointment with whoever tf is there so they can’t prescribe anymore. I can’t imagine winning that fight when they call, but whatever, what are they gonna do, send me back? Fine. I’ll fking spend the rest of my life at the state hospital fighting ADHD meds because that’s all they’ll prescribe and being pinned down and injected with valium or Ativan. Maybe thats my new kink. Hell, maybe I’ll do ECT again BECAUSE I want to rip my pants off and be knocked tf out and not know what happened hefore during or after. I mean, wasn’t that like half my life anyway? Just replace opioids with propofol and it’s my late teens/early 20s all over again.