Day before I was discharged they took my weight, but said it had to be a “blind weight,” (which was aggravating because literally no hospital or doctor has ever not let me known before, but (TMI) I hadn’t pooped in a week at that point so honestly didn’t even want to see it) yet literally the next day my email was flooded with patient portal updates including the notes with that weight. (Thank God I hadn’t pooped before though. Have a feeling without everything I ate in that week added they would’ve extended the IEA “because I can’t sustain life outside a hospital setting.”)

I love their notes though. One day I guess I was supposed to talk to a nutritionist there, and she wrote a note in the portal, but it just said “wanted to talk to pt today, nursing advised against it for safety.” Medical doc wrote a progress report for when I got there that started off “Samantha looks terrible.” Thanks, Dr. O, by the way, you smell like you put on half a bottle of strong perfume because you haven’t actually showered in a month and want to hide it (why do most IP docs and nurse practitioners wear so much fking perfume or cologne? Idk about you guys, but my school was next to a farm and my aunt I spent time with lived on a dairy farm and had horses, and I’ve grown to appreciate the smell of cow manure on hot humid days a helluva lot more than walking near “make me smell good without having to use basic hygiene” sections in stores.) (So, anyone that wants a date with me, don’t pick up a bottle of perfume/cologne before asking me out, you’ll have better luck improving your smell by spending time around horse, cow, and goat shyt beforehand).

I do have a pdoc appointment today though. Love how it’s always raining when I go these days (I did tell her my shows were soggy last time they weighed me and I wonder if I didn’t say that or specify it was rubbing alcohol instead of the age restricted kind if my skin wouldn’t be more brown and purple than white today).

The hospital changed my diagnosis from “unspecified eating disorder” (actually pretty sure my first hospitalization this year that was under the “history” section too) to anorexia nervosa (feels better than seeing bulimia tbh which is still on my outpatient team’s treatment plan).