I've been Dx different things over the years too - with significant childhood trauma. I was just lucky when I started seeing my 2nd psychiatrist that she was a trauma specialist (total luck of the draw) and she Dx'd me with PTSD instead of BPD, although I do have a lot of BPD traits. And so it's been the PTSD dx that's followed me around which is not bad because at least there's no bad stigma for it. Current diagnoses MDD with psychotic features, and PTSD. Was diagnosed with a SUD, but I've been sober long enough that my Dr's have dropped it from current and it's just listed as a past Dx.

The things that helped me the most were treating the symptoms, real trauma therapy, and some solid sober time - like I'm talking 2 years min.


Feel free to read the rest or ignore. I'm going to share what worked for me, in the hopes that it will give you ideas.

Treating the symptoms. My biggest problem was wild emotional dis-regulation, I could swing from rage to despair to giddyness within minutes. What helped me the most was DBT and mindfullness. Yes DBT can be a bit of a pain in the butt, but for me when I put in the work and actually practised and tried to use the skills eventually I saw payoffs. But this wasn't a quick fix, it was 6 months of weekly groups plus time on my own on homework. I was also lucky enough to do a Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy group that's supposed to help with preventing depression episodes. I still can't meditate very well, but some of the techniques for short like a couple of minutes of intense focusing and the concepts were really helpful to me.

Real trauma therapy. I was able to find a trauma therapy program that was outpatient at a hospital in my hometown that was specifically for women with a history of childhood trauma. Their wait list was stupid long, like 6 months to get an assessment then 18 months to get into the first group, then at least 18 months to get into the next group. I just kept getting on the wait list and doing different groups. In those groups I met women like me all of whom had been in the psychiatric system for years and hadn't been fully treated by it. The program wasn't about dissecting or "processing" your trauma, the focus was more on looking at how the trauma was impacting your life in the here and now and figuring out how to better manage it. This therapy was a game changer for me. Keep looking for programs, you might find something in unexpected places.

Sober time. You may not want to hear this, but in my experience I needed some serious sober time for my brain to adjust to life without alcohol, and to learn to regulate my emotions. It literally took me 9 months when I first quit drinking to get to a point where I could function in anything resembling normal cognitive levels for me. I'm not saying I wasn't functioning when I was drunk - the problem was I was too well. I'd been operating for over 20 years with heavy daily drinking and my brain had adapted. I built a successful career in corporate finance. Then I quit drinking and I literally got stupid - couldn't function at work. I spent that first 9 months basically sitting on my couch staring out the window wondering what the F had happened. But I didn't stay sober long term, I went into a 13 year cycle of sobriety for a few months, then relapsing which never gave my brain a chance to heal and wasn't enough time for me to really learn how to cope. When I finally quit the last time, I spent the first year just focusing on not drinking and trying to stay housed. At about a year, I was ready to start volunteering, at about 18 months I was able to start thinking about working and got a part time job. At about 2 years I started to feel really good and it's been an upward trajectory since then.

Now I'm over 6 years sober, employed, going back to school and my life is kind of boring with its lack of self created drama, but it's continued to get better