I'm just here to say that for the last few weeks, my X has been on my mind every day. I don't know why.

I had nightmares again this week, of her coming in and creating havoc around here. I woke from one early this morning, read for a while and fell back asleep and woke from a second one a few hours later.

There are almost two sets of thinking going on inside of me right now; the emotional thinking and the rational side.

The rational side is trying to figure out why this is happening and where it is all coming from. The emotional side is both hurt and wanting to run, and longing for the peace the good times we had together.

At no time is she out of my mind.

Every time I've gone out in the past week I've been scared of bumping into her. I'm back to closing the blinds and the curtains at home because I'm scared I'll look outside and see her.

I want to write to her and plead with her and try to get through to her and all that stuff. This is wild. It's a setback from where I was.

RDMercer