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So I've been living with my " wife" . Spent a lot of time trying to figure out what to do. Where to go , because I wanted to leave and start a new life. Our arrangement is such that I can walk away anytime, I owe her nothing ,and she owes me nothing. So I could have went anywhere. We don't even talk to each other. She's just a roommate and not even that.
This is the stickler. I'm in what is called analysis paralysis ! Can't make a decision to save my life , literally. Honestly , at 70 I just don't have what it takes to start over
So even though I'm not getting my needs met, I'm just going to have to settle.
Of course it's complicated and you all know what that's about. There's just one more important thing I want to share about myself that I found out. I cant enjoy myself anymore, by myself. I need to share my life with someone else, even if I know she doesn't love me.
I found out that I hate myself that much.
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Trying to Live in the Moment
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